Happy News, Sad News, and the Way the Cookie Crumbles...

It's Saturday morning, 7:49 a.m. to be exact, and I have been awake for almost an hour.  Surprisingly, I find myself with no plans today until later this afternoon, so I decided to update my blog!  Here are some quick updates in the life of Bethany:  


My grandpa is spending his last hours here on Earth - he has colon cancer, and it has begun to manifest.  He has a nearly complete blockage by a large tumor, and his body has started giving in.  He is bedbound as of last week, and I went to see him on Wednesday.  It is so hard to see someone you love in pain.  Luckily he is on pain meds, but the changes from the healthy, robust man I have always known to the frail, weak one I see now is heartbreaking.  When I walked in, he was asleep, but he woke up to see me.  I am grateful that even with the progression of his Alzheimer's disease, he always knows who I am.  He may not know what's going on in my life, but he knows me, and that's all that matters.  

He looked so happy to see me, and he took my hand, kissed it, and held it tight while he just stared at me with so much love in his eyes.  He had trouble speaking, but he was very adamant that I understand just one thing:  He asked me to recite a poem at his funeral.  I told him I would love to, and asked him if he had a specific one in mind.  He just told me on a day he is feeling better, he is going to plan out his funeral in its entirety.  By this time the drugs were taking over and I could tell he was fighting to stay awake, but we gazed at each other for a few more moments and somehow in my heart I knew we were saying goodbye.  It's so hard to say goodbye, but I'm glad we had that moment.  I will remember it forever.  

As I think about the ending of my grandpa's life, I can't help but worry about what this will mean for my grandma.  She is currently in denial - I don't think she wants to think about what her life will be like without him.  They have been married since they were 24 years old, and they have had a long and fulfilling life.  I am currently in the process of gathering pictures so I can give my grandfather a proper tribute, which will hopefully be coming soon.  


CAREER:  
Boy oh boy, the Farmers ride sure has been a crazy one!  From the deadlines, to the stress, to the clients, and the new relationships I build, it's a roller coaster for sure.  I love it - even though some days I come home absolutely exhausted and beat down.  It's empowering, unique, and the things I get to experience are amazing.  I recently went to the University of Farmers in California, and I am SO impressed by the curriculum there.  The classroom is hands down the BEST I have ever been in, and I learned so much, as well as retained so much.  I feel like I learned more there in a week than I did a full 3 years in college!  Other universities and schools could learn a lot by observing how Farmers does it.  No wonder its ranked #1 in the world.  Here's a fun picture I took while there:  

Don't we look studious? ;)

The thing I love most about what I do is the freedom I have.  Sometimes it feels like I work too much (okay, every day!) but it's by MY choice to do so.  I am building an agency, and I'm a business owner.  I make my schedule, and I choose to be successful.  It's so cool when I stop and think about it!!

I am grateful for my life.  For the struggles, for the triumphs, and for the every day tasks that sometimes seem monotonous.  I have chosen to be where I am now, and I'm happy with my choices.